Concierge Companion Forum

The Main Lounge => Library => Topic started by: Holly on February 27, 2010, 12:25:59 AM

Title: 'wOw Friend' Betsy Prioleau: Calling All Casanovas!
Post by: Holly on February 27, 2010, 12:25:59 AM
Editor’s Note: Betsy Prioleau is the author of Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love.

What’s happened to all the ladies’ men, the great seducers who were “onto” women, knew the ropes and love-addled us for life? Where are they now when we need them?

Male approval ratings are at a record low. Women are disappointed in spouses (over half want to stray), the dating pool and our sex lives. We’re single longer and pickier — increasingly peeved with players, slackers, clueless suitors and partners on autopilot.

Times like these call for the ladykiller. History’s legendary lovers, with their forgotten moves and mojo, can pull us out of this funk. They can wise up men and answer women’s prayers.

Their secret? Clearly something beyond sexual science. Most lacked money, status, stability and looks. Italian poet and adventurer Gabriele D’Annunzio, the celebrated “Don Juan” of the fin de siecle, was short, “ugly” and usually poor, but the queenpins of Europe fainted at his feet. He had “it,” the basic requisites: brio, libido and a sweet spot for women. He also had the craft of enchantment down cold.

D’Annunzio, like other ladies’ men, ignored the playbooks and practiced love as an art. The goal was grand passion — to conjure and keep it. The techniques go back centuries and can be mixed to taste, even used piecemeal. They’re that powerful.

Physical lures are the minor spells, and maestros knew that passion requires a dash of drama. Casanova finessed this to perfection. Eighteenth-century Venetian romancer, spy, scholar, writer, musician and man of parts, Casanova was the quintessential seducer. He dressed to kill — in purple taffeta waistcoats and rings on every finger; he learned movement from a ballet master; he wore signature jasmine scent; he played the violin; he stage-set assignations in customized rooms and was supernatural in bed.

But psychological charms are the big erotic magic; love is a head trip, a soul heist, a skyjack to an altered state. “Cool” doesn’t cut it. Take fifties’ jet-setter Pakistani Prince Aly Khan. When he struck, he plied women with praise and wore his heart on his sleeve. He once turned to a dinner partner he’d just met, the Hon. Joan Guinness, and said, “Darling, will you marry me?” She promptly divorced her husband and did. Rita Hayworth, his second wife, followed suit ten years later.

Khan delivered another kiloton aphrodisiac: festivity. Women described his courtships as “a flight aboard a magic carpet” — laughter, treats and kicks — where “inhibitions fell away like retreating landmarks.”

Ladies’ men, too, “got” empathy and conversation. Napoleonic “Enchanter” Chateaubriand, politician and author of such French classics as Atala and René, enamored women “suddenly and forever” with his full-on sympathy. And forget the strong, silent lotharios of macho lore; speech is seduction. Swashbuckler Sir Walter Raleigh word-spelled the world (including Elizabeth I) with his verbal legerdemain, as did Lord Byron, David Niven and countless others. One of Niven’s many inamorati swooned, his funny stories were “as delicious as French pastry.”

More to the point: women-charmers remained interesting. They treated love as a verb — a continual tango of yes-no, delight-difficulty, elate-sedate. Grand master of them all was eighteenth-century “hero of the boudoir,” the duc de Richelieu. Soldier, litterateur, diplomat, wit and friend of Voltaire, he was an inexhaustible pinwheel personality whose amorous inventions (he loved disguises), mercurial moods and movements kept his “countless adorers” perpetually enrapt. Such was his allure that two noblewomen once dueled for his favors in the Bois de Boulogne. The ladies took aim, fired off pistol rounds and the comtesse de Polignac felled her rival (nonfatally), the marquise de Nesle. But neither won. This arch-fascinator remained a law unto himself and “irresistible” into his nineties.

But today? Who’s seen a certified heartthrob recently? Aside from the few Warren Beattys and Jack Nicholsons, they’re a dying breed — going the way of the snow leopard. Guys are abandoning the mating effort, babe-trolling or boring us blind. Unless we turn them around.

It’s our call. We can mold men to our wishes. As neo-Darwinist David Buss assures us: if women want men to walk “on their hands,” soon “half the race will be upside down.” Come now: we can give men something better to do with their hands — and heads. We can take the seducers’ secrets, inculcate them, put them to positive ends — hot monogamy and female bliss — and transform the slouches into love studs.

With greater female leverage and autonomy in the future, we’ll increasingly demand men of this breed. Vanguard sociobiologist Geoffrey Miller argues in The Mating Mind that alpha women have always chosen ladykillers who “deliver the greatest rapture” over ho-hum providers. He calls this the “Dionysian effect” and believes it accounts for the evolution of human culture and creativity.

So, let’s bring on the ladies’ men, the Dionysian pleasure pistols with their sizzle and sorcery and inside track on what lights our fires and keeps them lit. With our twenty-first century charms, we can recapture and corral this sexy beast. Haven’t we earned a Casanova of our own by now?

http://www.wowowow.com/post/wow-friend-betsy-prioleau-calling-all-casanovas
Title: Re: 'wOw Friend' Betsy Prioleau: Calling All Casanovas!
Post by: NoGNoG on February 27, 2010, 07:37:34 PM
Holly -

Thank you for the interesting article and the URL.  I will push further into the site when I have more time.
I do have some questions requesting different perspectives on a few points, within the article, from anyone interested in a discussion.

What’s happened to all the ladies’ men, the great seducers who were “onto” women, knew the ropes and love-addled us for life? Where are they now when we need them?

Outside of the gentlemen here in CdM who I definitely say are "onto and into" women, do you think a woman's fear is more involved, pertaining to health?  Women have closed their mind to allow their libido to rage to consider that a great seducer could be sitting right next to them?

Quote
Male approval ratings are at a record low. Women are disappointed in spouses (over half want to stray), the dating pool and our sex lives. We’re single longer and pickier — increasingly peeved with players, slackers, clueless suitors and partners on autopilot.

Perhaps women are just fessing up to wanting to stray?  How about being personally honest with oneself? Recognize that wanting to enjoy sex without all of the ties of emotion is okay.

Quote
Times like these call for the ladykiller. History’s legendary lovers, with their forgotten moves and mojo, can pull us out of this funk. They can wise up men and answer women’s prayers.

When did romance and seduction become such a dirty habit? Frowned upon within society?  I feel as if it has gone underground.

Quote
Their secret? Clearly something beyond sexual science. Most lacked money, status, stability and looks. Italian poet and adventurer Gabriele D’Annunzio, the celebrated “Don Juan” of the fin de siecle, was short, “ugly” and usually poor, but the queenpins of Europe fainted at his feet. He had “it,” the basic requisites: brio, libido and a sweet spot for women. He also had the craft of enchantment down cold.

I responded in another thread that looks are always deceiving. From one who adores Men - Voice and Vocabulary come way into play before looks.  What is that spark that attracts?  I have always feel it with a man who is able to communicate, listens well, laughs at life, and possesses a quiet self-assuredness.   What is the main for you?
Quote
Guys are abandoning the mating effort, babe-trolling or boring us blind. Unless we turn them around.

It’s our call. We can mold men to our wishes.

We can take the seducers’ secrets, inculcate them, put them to positive ends — hot monogamy and female bliss — and transform the slouches into love studs.

With greater female leverage and autonomy in the future, we’ll increasingly demand men of this breed. Vanguard sociobiologist Geoffrey Miller argues in The Mating Mind that alpha women have always chosen ladykillers who “deliver the greatest rapture” over ho-hum providers.

Haven’t we earned a Casanova of our own by now?
[/quote]

You can lead a horse to water. But you can not make them drink.  Believe me hot monogamy only exists if both parties want it to.  This takes work and advance study. What happened to the interest in learning "woman" and in the process learning how to tap into a woman's mind?  We are raising a generation of non-independent thinkers.  All decisions are based by consensus of the group.  A social society of getting their kicks and their information more from social networking sites then practical experience.  How to turn it around?  Turn off the power.
   
Holly - What do you think it would take for that to turn back?

NoGNoG
Title: Re: 'wOw Friend' Betsy Prioleau: Calling All Casanovas!
Post by: lucifer on February 28, 2010, 12:02:42 AM
Quote
We are raising a generation of non-independent thinkers.  All decisions are based by consensus of the group.  A social society of getting their kicks and their information more from social networking sites then practical experience.  How to turn it around?  Turn off the power.
   
Holly - What do you think it would take for that to turn back?

Quote

I'm not Holly.  :o

But this is very much what I observe as well. It's been like this since the fall of the Berlin Wall and the demise of USSR. Political Correction (aka Neo Fascism as it's become) and the negation of individualism aka communism, socialism, collectivism, call it what you will. But there was a vaccuum created and the all must be of one mind has replaced the character of individualism. We need the USSR to show us how bad it was supposed to have been. Mind you the demise of Hitler and his lot didn't stop fascism from becoming ever so popular with a fair amount of genocide to keep that ppot boling.

I'm reminded of being served anywhere that suddenly requires alot of people to make a decision in case an individual does or is placed in that situation and ... it may be wrong. So the objective is avoidance of error, or if not, make it difficult to aportion blame. Not to mention internationally applied Health and Safety Acts. Everyone's a bureaucrat and boy, they just love it.

So we're told to think outside the box. But what if we were to act on that (considered) thought?

None of this has much directly with Casanova's other than these guys were individuals and sought no one's approval. The celebtration of you being you was inherent rather than exceptional... like now.

So if anyone's wondering what's up withe the world it's a mix up of perceptions versus reality (as usual....) but it'll be about 10 -15 years before the social situation is either noticed, changed, amended (etc.) I am not waiting around for Internet Networkers to define society or what they think it should be. I have (more or less) a life to lead.

All of the above is just my very humble opinion of course. (Mustn't risk offending someone by not disclaiming and doing the cringy hand wringing.)

cheers  :-*


Title: Re: 'wOw Friend' Betsy Prioleau: Calling All Casanovas!
Post by: Holly on March 03, 2010, 07:05:51 PM
Holly - What do you think it would take for that to turn back?

NoGNoG


I think, like Betsy, that women have to demand better men/lovers/companions/mates/partners. Breed out the baddies, I say! If women would stop settling for sub-par men, men would have to start paying more attention to get any action.

Much of it has to do with this weird way women in our society feel they need a man to be complete. As such, any old excuse for a man will do, and this has given men permission and space to be lazy. And breed their kind.

Additionally, after millennia of women and their sexuality being denigrated and relegated to the back of the bus, so to speak,  it has become a man's world, where they call the shots. Not alone, of course; women have bought into their own subjugation enough to aid and abet it substantially (women do much of the slut-shaming and perpetuation of the whore stigma now). Today, structures are entrenched so much so that it takes very little effort to perpetuate the status quo. Individual men and women don't have to do much now to keep it a "man's world". And I would argue that very few folks even consciously perpetuate this structural system- it’s almost as if we do it on autopilot. Every time a woman is arrested for prostitution, every time a man gets away with treating a woman badly, and every time a woman calls another a slut or brings her “purity” or “good girl” status into question we perpetuate it. We don’t question the existing system, so it grows and flourishes unabated, self-propelled.

“Feminists” (a loaded word) have tried to disrupt this but have only had a limited success, and that mostly having been in employment, politics and business. In interpersonal relationships between the sexes, they have fared less well, largely because sexual pleasure has been left out of the debate.

Paid companions have a great place in our society today. They make up for the laziness and sloppiness of their fellow men, if only temporarily.

Title: Re: 'wOw Friend' Betsy Prioleau: Calling All Casanovas!
Post by: Megan on March 04, 2010, 05:32:06 AM
Wow, what an interesting post!  Among the list of the historical luminaries mentioned I would add Rudolph Valentino; with a heated look or a single, lingering kiss he could bring sublime pleasure to an entire audience of women.  And while I agree that romance, worldliness and tenderness are big turn ons, I can't join the author in discounting looks from the equation; visual beauty is definitely an aphrodesiac for me, especially if the guy knows how to 'work it.' ;)

I also agree that, aside from our CDM gentlemen of course, romance and sensuality seem to be a lost of art for a good number of modern men.  That's why male companions and man-tesians are so greatly needed.  I once had one of my readers tells me that she gives my books to her husband as a blueprint for a romantic evening; I've never received a greater compliment!  By studying erotic and romantic literature and films, both genders can learn much about romance and seduction.

Hugs,

Meg

Editor’s Note: Betsy Prioleau is the author of Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love.

What’s happened to all the ladies’ men, the great seducers who were “onto” women, knew the ropes and love-addled us for life? Where are they now when we need them?

Male approval ratings are at a record low. Women are disappointed in spouses (over half want to stray), the dating pool and our sex lives. We’re single longer and pickier — increasingly peeved with players, slackers, clueless suitors and partners on autopilot.

Times like these call for the ladykiller. History’s legendary lovers, with their forgotten moves and mojo, can pull us out of this funk. They can wise up men and answer women’s prayers.

Their secret? Clearly something beyond sexual science. Most lacked money, status, stability and looks. Italian poet and adventurer Gabriele D’Annunzio, the celebrated “Don Juan” of the fin de siecle, was short, “ugly” and usually poor, but the queenpins of Europe fainted at his feet. He had “it,” the basic requisites: brio, libido and a sweet spot for women. He also had the craft of enchantment down cold.

D’Annunzio, like other ladies’ men, ignored the playbooks and practiced love as an art. The goal was grand passion — to conjure and keep it. The techniques go back centuries and can be mixed to taste, even used piecemeal. They’re that powerful.

Physical lures are the minor spells, and maestros knew that passion requires a dash of drama. Casanova finessed this to perfection. Eighteenth-century Venetian romancer, spy, scholar, writer, musician and man of parts, Casanova was the quintessential seducer. He dressed to kill — in purple taffeta waistcoats and rings on every finger; he learned movement from a ballet master; he wore signature jasmine scent; he played the violin; he stage-set assignations in customized rooms and was supernatural in bed.

But psychological charms are the big erotic magic; love is a head trip, a soul heist, a skyjack to an altered state. “Cool” doesn’t cut it. Take fifties’ jet-setter Pakistani Prince Aly Khan. When he struck, he plied women with praise and wore his heart on his sleeve. He once turned to a dinner partner he’d just met, the Hon. Joan Guinness, and said, “Darling, will you marry me?” She promptly divorced her husband and did. Rita Hayworth, his second wife, followed suit ten years later.

Khan delivered another kiloton aphrodisiac: festivity. Women described his courtships as “a flight aboard a magic carpet” — laughter, treats and kicks — where “inhibitions fell away like retreating landmarks.”

Ladies’ men, too, “got” empathy and conversation. Napoleonic “Enchanter” Chateaubriand, politician and author of such French classics as Atala and René, enamored women “suddenly and forever” with his full-on sympathy. And forget the strong, silent lotharios of macho lore; speech is seduction. Swashbuckler Sir Walter Raleigh word-spelled the world (including Elizabeth I) with his verbal legerdemain, as did Lord Byron, David Niven and countless others. One of Niven’s many inamorati swooned, his funny stories were “as delicious as French pastry.”

More to the point: women-charmers remained interesting. They treated love as a verb — a continual tango of yes-no, delight-difficulty, elate-sedate. Grand master of them all was eighteenth-century “hero of the boudoir,” the duc de Richelieu. Soldier, litterateur, diplomat, wit and friend of Voltaire, he was an inexhaustible pinwheel personality whose amorous inventions (he loved disguises), mercurial moods and movements kept his “countless adorers” perpetually enrapt. Such was his allure that two noblewomen once dueled for his favors in the Bois de Boulogne. The ladies took aim, fired off pistol rounds and the comtesse de Polignac felled her rival (nonfatally), the marquise de Nesle. But neither won. This arch-fascinator remained a law unto himself and “irresistible” into his nineties.

But today? Who’s seen a certified heartthrob recently? Aside from the few Warren Beattys and Jack Nicholsons, they’re a dying breed — going the way of the snow leopard. Guys are abandoning the mating effort, babe-trolling or boring us blind. Unless we turn them around.

It’s our call. We can mold men to our wishes. As neo-Darwinist David Buss assures us: if women want men to walk “on their hands,” soon “half the race will be upside down.” Come now: we can give men something better to do with their hands — and heads. We can take the seducers’ secrets, inculcate them, put them to positive ends — hot monogamy and female bliss — and transform the slouches into love studs.

With greater female leverage and autonomy in the future, we’ll increasingly demand men of this breed. Vanguard sociobiologist Geoffrey Miller argues in The Mating Mind that alpha women have always chosen ladykillers who “deliver the greatest rapture” over ho-hum providers. He calls this the “Dionysian effect” and believes it accounts for the evolution of human culture and creativity.

So, let’s bring on the ladies’ men, the Dionysian pleasure pistols with their sizzle and sorcery and inside track on what lights our fires and keeps them lit. With our twenty-first century charms, we can recapture and corral this sexy beast. Haven’t we earned a Casanova of our own by now?

http://www.wowowow.com/post/wow-friend-betsy-prioleau-calling-all-casanovas
Title: Re: 'wOw Friend' Betsy Prioleau: Calling All Casanovas!
Post by: Gotham on September 03, 2012, 07:32:16 PM
Editor’s Note: Betsy Prioleau is the author of Seductress: Women Who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love.

With greater female leverage and autonomy in the future, we’ll increasingly demand men of this breed. Vanguard sociobiologist Geoffrey Miller argues in The Mating Mind that alpha women have always chosen ladykillers who “deliver the greatest rapture” over ho-hum providers. He calls this the “Dionysian effect” and believes it accounts for the evolution of human culture and creativity.



 ;)