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Messages - John Oh

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1
Art and Entertainment / Netflix - The Expanse
« on: November 03, 2016, 07:27:57 PM »
I see that Netflix has a new sci-fi series called The Expanse. 
I am hoping that it will be worth watching...

2
General Discussion / Re: Meant to Be Singel?
« on: November 03, 2016, 07:21:06 PM »
Thank you Quinn :-)
It's been a busy and difficult few years really.  And it left precious little time for CdM.  I am hoping to be able to participate more going forward.  It's always been a fun and positive community.

As for finding someone who can really "gets" you and is prepared to let you be that.  That is a rare thing indeed and worth holding onto.

3
General Discussion / Re: Meant to Be Singel?
« on: November 02, 2016, 10:43:04 PM »
I am very sorry to hear that.

Thank you.  It's sad to lose a relationship, especially when so much of your life has gone into it, but sometimes it's just the right thing to do.

I have heard something similar, several times recently, in relation to people being able to keep parts of themselves while in a relationship.  For example, in a recent conversation with friend A and friend B, A was excitedly telling us about an activity he was going to participate in during the upcoming weekend. When he left the conversation, B turned to me and shared that she was glad A was able to keep that activity after he got married and that his wife hadn't made him stop.  I thought it was because of the type of activity (hunting) but B said, no, she just knows too many relationships where one person ends up forfeiting him or herself and ends up taking on the hobbies, friends, etc. of their partner.

That is a good example of how you need to do it.  I am not blaming my partner over this mind you.  I'm an adult and I chose.  I did what I thought was right for me and for the relationship.  Turns out that I was wrong.  Live and learn.

4
General Discussion / Re: Meant to Be Singel?
« on: November 02, 2016, 07:26:14 PM »
I found this very interesting article. Using these signs, I'm meant to be single. Anybody else?

http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-youre-meant-single.html/?ref=YF&yptr=yahoo

Fifteen months ago my partner at the time ended our fifteen year relationship.  It was not a happy experience.  In the time since though I have come to realise just how much of myself - of my true nature - I had ended up repressing to allow the relationship to continue to function.

Right now I am single and very happy with my life.  I am doing things and thinking things and feeling things that I haven't for many years.

Do I think that I am meant to be single?  Not really, based on the points of the article, but for now I feel that being single and not compromising myself is the best way for me to be living.

That may change one day - and I do feel that I miss the companionship of a relationship - but for now, I am going to continue the process of rediscovering the aspects of myself that have been lost.

5
General Discussion / Re: Favourite sites
« on: July 13, 2015, 06:12:14 PM »
Liquidfrye - "QuestionableContent (.net) - nice webcomic, on my daily reading list"

Yes!  Nice to see another QC fan here :-)  I will give that one my endorsement too.

John.

6
General Discussion / Re: How our industry is changing
« on: July 13, 2014, 11:27:21 PM »
Hi Maxime,

It's great to know that I am not alone in the theraputic work.  I am really pleased (and proud too) that we as a group are able to do this for women. 

Our industry has so much emotive baggage attached to it that it is nice to be able to surprise (and shock) people by pointing out that what we do is far more than indulging people's fantasies (not that there is anything wrong with that).  It's just nice to be able to surprise people by being more than a cliche or stereotype.

John.

7
General Discussion / Re: How our industry is changing
« on: July 10, 2014, 02:40:10 AM »
Yes, it is similar to sex surrogate work, but I find tends to cut further across the "therapy" side of things.  More time spent talking, working through issues, finding out what the blocks are that are causing the problems.  Then getting past that and then giving them the opportunity to gain experience.

Then again, I don't know any women who work as sex surrogates, so they might tell me that is exactly what they do :-)

John.

8
General Discussion / Re: How our industry is changing
« on: July 10, 2014, 12:02:45 AM »
Hi Pete,

You are doubtless right about legality letting the industry grow faster.  Hopefully the moral zeitgeist will follow in the places where it is not and legalisation will come there too. 

I think that you are quite right that the role of the companion is expanding.  My experience with "therapy" work is testimony to that.  I think that traditional psychology and verbal therapy is leaving a lot of people feeling like they need to go the next step to someone who is literally hand on to start building positive physical experiences.  A sensible, sensitive male companion/escort can be a real help in that area.

John.

9
General Discussion / How our industry is changing
« on: July 09, 2014, 10:59:26 PM »
As the years roll by I love my work and this industry more and more.  It's rewarding and satisfying like few things that I have ever done.

Along the way I have come to recognise changes.  Changes that are happening more and more quickly I think.  I thought I would make a post on the subject and and see what others thought.

Things I see:

Go back about three years and most of my clients were around the age of 47 (or older).  They were mostly women when were divorced, and looking for an experience that would set them back on the path to dating with renewed confidence in themselves and their sexuality.

I was contemplating this recently and I realised that now I find that most of my clients are around the age of 40.  Most are still married and rather than contemplating divorce, they are now looking for a way to satisfy their sexuality without losing all of the good things in their marriage.  I have to say that I am very pleased to see this.  Divorce is usually horrible for everyone involved and leaves a financial mess.  So I am happy that I am providing something to women need in their lives that also lets them maintain what are otherwise happy, or workable marriages.

I also get the feeling that (in Sydney, Australia at least), employing a male escort (which is legal here) is beginning to become more widely acceptable.  This may be thanks to a few news paper articles that have appears over the last year or two.  So whenever I am approached to do an interview I have always said yes (having discussed the article with the journalist to be sure that they don't have a hatchet job in mind).  I think that them ore press that we can create for our industry the better.  Normalising what we do is, I think, the key to bringing down the barriers that prevent people who really need the help of an escort/companion from contacting us.

Another difference I have noticed is that I now get a lot more (perhaps a quarter of all my bookings) with women who are seeing me more in a "therapeutic" role, than a "romantic" one.  This is one of my favourite and most rewarding aspects of my work, but it's not always easy.  Clients with serious disabilities (like cerebral palsy, mental illness and trauma) are often challenging to work with, but the rewards for them and for me are worth while.  Then there are the clients who just want to feel safe, to explore and learn about sex.  It's fun work for all and I think helps to promote healthy attitudes to sexuality.

So, that's my observations, I am interested to hear what others think and have experienced.

John.

10
Travel and Leisure / London in August
« on: July 09, 2014, 07:03:17 PM »
Hi to all, it's been a long time since I logged in and caught up on the news (my bad - life just keep getting in the way).  My impending trip to London seemed like a good reason to do so. 

A quick thank you to Pixie for her post on London's sexiest hotels.  That's very handy information to know :-)

I am traveling ostensibly for a holiday and to catch up with friends, but I am also available for a booking if anyone would like to meet.

Also, if any companions in London would like to catch up for a beer, then let me know.  It would be fun to meet after so many years of reading your posts.

Looking forward to some (hopefully) better weather than Sydney winter!

John.

11
General Discussion / Re: Plagiarism of website content
« on: October 16, 2012, 04:05:23 PM »
Hi Quinn,

That's great that the issue is resolved.  There is an opportunity here as well to hopefully bring something positive from the situation.  My observation about promoting myself as a male escort/companion is this:

If you use your own "voice" and write original content for your website then your true personality will shine through.  The things that you care about and value will be apparent to your prospective clients.  This is a good thing as it means that clients who are well matched to you will contact you and book.  Clients who aren't well matched won't book. 

That's a really good thing because you will be working with like-minded people who's company you will enjoy (and probably vice versa).  Everyone wins.

When you copy someone else's work then you obscure your true personality, so create a miss-match between your website and the reality of who you are.  In my opinion, that's not the best way to proceed.


That's great that Armand is onto it.  As a web master myself (my super power alter ego you know ;-) I know how insidious hackers can be.  It's no easy task keeping ahead of these people and protect your systems and it's a shame to see an otherwise good reputation being sullied by someone else's greed!

John.

12
General Discussion / Re: Long time no speak,need some advice
« on: October 16, 2012, 03:33:18 PM »
Thanks James :-) 

I have missed CDM, but real life (if you can call it that) has been getting in the way.  Business and some personal issues has left little time for keeping up with CDM in recent times.

John.

13
General Discussion / Re: Plagiarism of website content
« on: October 16, 2012, 03:28:05 PM »
Hi Quinn,

That is fair enough to give him a chance.  If that hasn't change his mind,then the owner of malecourtesan.com needs to take some action.

On a related note, I just clicked through to www.malecourtesan.com and Firefox is reporting that it is a known attach site.  Whoever owns it needs to know that their server has been hacked and the site hijacked to deliver malware or similar.  Not a good look.  I would strongly recommend contacting your webhost.

Regards,
John.

14
General Discussion / Re: Long time no speak,need some advice
« on: October 16, 2012, 02:04:10 PM »
Hi Andrie,

Sorry to hear that you are having trouble with someone.  It's hard to offer any advice though without knowing some of the specifics, like exactly what this attack is?  Are they bad mouthing you to clients?  Or something else.

If things are being said, then personally I would just write an article for my website stating what's being said and providing the background so that people can make their own decision.  Above all remain calm and professional.

John.

15
General Discussion / Re: Plagiarism of website content
« on: October 16, 2012, 01:54:24 PM »
Hi Quinn,

Thanks for posting this.  It's good to keep this issue fresh and in people's minds. 

Here's a question for you: why not name the person, or post a link to their site?  Granted, it took 10 seconds with Google to find his, but most people won't do that.  This is part of the reason that I posted a link to the site that copied my content.  If people think that there won't be any consequences for copying (other than perhaps a takedown notice) then they will consider copying.

If however copying could lead to their reputation (the most important thing for all of us men in this industry) being trashed, then perhaps they will think twice.

Just my opinion of course :-)  and thank you for posting this.

John.

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