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Quinn
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« on: October 30, 2016, 08:57:24 AM »

I found this very interesting article. Using these signs, I'm meant to be single. Anybody else?

http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-youre-meant-single.html/?ref=YF&yptr=yahoo
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Slovestravel
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« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2016, 12:33:22 AM »

I saw a lot of myself in that article, Quinn. Odd as I have spent a lot of my life in relationships.
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Quinn
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« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2016, 04:42:19 PM »

That is odd, S. If those relationships haven't worked out, maybe that has something to do with.

By the way, just noticed my typo above - feel like an idiot!

Thanks for replying S. I keep hoping something will liven up this place.
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NoGNoG
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« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2016, 05:56:02 PM »

First of all..
Quinn - No reason to feel like an idiot!  I've done the same somewhere in here.

Second - I find it lively.  It would be livelier if we could get our notifications back.  That is what I truly miss.  It is what kept me more engaged not necessarily lively.  ;D

Last - I read the article.  I don't mind conflict. I married the nicest man I know who loves me dearly.  He, also, allows me to be me on days that suit him.   /LOL   It has been hard work keeping in this marriage.
I probably could have lived alone for I have all of the others on the list.  I do know I can live alone if I needed to.

I enjoy the intimacy gained by sharing my life and likes with another person.  I am not a person looking back on could a or should a. This is the life I chose and it is pretty damn good.

Should I be alone? Isn't that the question?  I feel it is too late for me and this decision. 

   
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Quinn
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« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2016, 08:44:30 PM »

Thank you for sharing NoG. It sounds like you have made some compromises, and we all do that sometimes. But, if overall, you are satisfied, that's what counts.
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Tealight
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« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2016, 12:42:23 PM »

No worries on the typo, Quinn :)

I identified with 4 of the 7 signs but I'll be honest about in saying that I don't know if I'm single because I want to be single or because I've been single for so long that I have unconsciously "turned off" the option of being in a relationship. It's not that I don't want a partner, I'm just not proactive about seeking one. Yes, I'm ok with being single, but I'm not sure that really makes me, "single at heart."  Also, I wouldn't say that personal mastery or high self-sufficency are exclusive to singles.
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« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2016, 06:59:47 PM »

No worries on the typo, Quinn :)

 Also, I wouldn't say that personal mastery or high self-sufficency are exclusive to singles.

I would agree that they aren't exclusive to singles, but I think they are essential to someone who is "Meant to be single."
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John Oh
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« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2016, 07:26:14 PM »

I found this very interesting article. Using these signs, I'm meant to be single. Anybody else?

http://www.cheatsheet.com/health-fitness/signs-youre-meant-single.html/?ref=YF&yptr=yahoo

Fifteen months ago my partner at the time ended our fifteen year relationship.  It was not a happy experience.  In the time since though I have come to realise just how much of myself - of my true nature - I had ended up repressing to allow the relationship to continue to function.

Right now I am single and very happy with my life.  I am doing things and thinking things and feeling things that I haven't for many years.

Do I think that I am meant to be single?  Not really, based on the points of the article, but for now I feel that being single and not compromising myself is the best way for me to be living.

That may change one day - and I do feel that I miss the companionship of a relationship - but for now, I am going to continue the process of rediscovering the aspects of myself that have been lost.
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Tealight
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« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2016, 08:46:39 PM »

I would agree that they aren't exclusive to singles, but I think they are essential to someone who is "Meant to be single."

Very true!

Fifteen months ago my partner at the time ended our fifteen year relationship.  It was not a happy experience.   

I am very sorry to hear that.

I have come to realise just how much of myself - of my true nature - I had ended up repressing to allow the relationship to continue to function..

I have heard something similar, several times recently, in relation to people being able to keep parts of themselves while in a relationship.  For example, in a recent conversation with friend A and friend B, A was excitedly telling us about an activity he was going to participate in during the upcoming weekend. When he left the conversation, B turned to me and shared that she was glad A was able to keep that activity after he got married and that his wife hadn't made him stop.  I thought it was because of the type of activity (hunting) but B said, no, she just knows too many relationships where one person ends up forfeiting him or herself and ends up taking on the hobbies, friends, etc. of their partner. 
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John Oh
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« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2016, 10:43:04 PM »

I am very sorry to hear that.

Thank you.  It's sad to lose a relationship, especially when so much of your life has gone into it, but sometimes it's just the right thing to do.

I have heard something similar, several times recently, in relation to people being able to keep parts of themselves while in a relationship.  For example, in a recent conversation with friend A and friend B, A was excitedly telling us about an activity he was going to participate in during the upcoming weekend. When he left the conversation, B turned to me and shared that she was glad A was able to keep that activity after he got married and that his wife hadn't made him stop.  I thought it was because of the type of activity (hunting) but B said, no, she just knows too many relationships where one person ends up forfeiting him or herself and ends up taking on the hobbies, friends, etc. of their partner.

That is a good example of how you need to do it.  I am not blaming my partner over this mind you.  I'm an adult and I chose.  I did what I thought was right for me and for the relationship.  Turns out that I was wrong.  Live and learn.
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Quinn
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« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2016, 06:48:42 PM »

Hi John. It's good to see you back. I always enjoy your thoughtful and honest posts. I am sorry, too, to hear about your relationship. Even when it's not right, it can be sad to have it end. I'm glad that you are finding the lost parts of yourself.

I think that even those of us who are meant to be single would give that up to be in a relationship where both partners respect and honor the other's true self. It doesn't happen very often.
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John Oh
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« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2016, 07:21:06 PM »

Thank you Quinn :-)
It's been a busy and difficult few years really.  And it left precious little time for CdM.  I am hoping to be able to participate more going forward.  It's always been a fun and positive community.

As for finding someone who can really "gets" you and is prepared to let you be that.  That is a rare thing indeed and worth holding onto.
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alexslogan
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« Reply #12 on: November 07, 2016, 08:55:22 PM »

I have been single and not, both for rather long times. In this snapshot of time the article does match a lot of things.
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Quinn
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« Reply #13 on: November 08, 2016, 02:46:13 PM »

I have been single and not, both for rather long times. In this snapshot of time the article does match a lot of things.

I think it's very true that this is something that can change through time.
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Pete
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« Reply #14 on: November 12, 2016, 06:44:14 PM »

I have been single so far. Self sufficient and not being tied down ( enjoy freedom) are the key reasons, which relate well to this article.
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