Concierge Companion Forum - The Art of the Gentleman

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
January 21, 2020, 03:41:39 PM

Home | Help | Search | Login | Register
+  Concierge Companion Forum
|-+  The Main Lounge
| |-+  So you want to be a male escort...
| | |-+  The Art of the Gentleman
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic. « previous next »
Pages: [1] Print
Author Topic: The Art of the Gentleman  (Read 4613 times)
visitor001
Sr. Member
****
Posts: 450

View Profile
« on: January 18, 2010, 11:05:53 PM »

Amis,

I was reading through this article http://artofmanliness.com/2009/12/13/road-map-to-the-perfect-first-date/. I came across this riposte from a commenter (bolded for my emphasis):

'Well, contrary to what the rest of you think, I really disliked this article. And although I realize this article is provided for free, Im going to openly criticize it because I think it, and other like it, do a real disservice to most men. Heres why:

Whether it be to get laid, or to find that really special someone, most men have a deep and longing desire to be successful with women. Yet truth be told, most men really suck at it. Of the 30-or-so friends Ive known over the last decade, I can name probably 3 that had any real and consistent success with women. But yet I see way too many of these dating advice articles remove spinach from teeth abstain from belching masquerade as some recipe, or in this case roadmap, to the dating/mating experience. Follow these rules boys and youll have the perfect first date!

Bullsh*t. The authors of these articles invariably have no real understanding as to what is attractive to women, and they miss the essential point of any date. And this article isnt an exception.

The purpose of any initial date is to get a woman attracted to you. Period.
If you dont think so if you think its about finding chemistry and commonalities and other happy hoo-ha seriously consider whether youre going to get limp on a hottie because she doesnt share your passion of model railroads and metal detecting. Get a grip. Until you get a woman genuinely attracted to you, youve no say in the mating dance whatsoever. Until that point, she chooses. Not you. You simply cant next a woman who doesnt want you.

But heres the real rub. Follow an inane article like this that is, really show off just how incredibly polite, thoughtful, and sweet you can be and youll find yourself dejected and alone at the end of the date surfing internet porn. Or worse yet, reading more articles like this trying to figure out what went wrong. Any man whos been on an actual real-life date intuitively knows this to be true although I expect many wont have the balls to admit it. Theyll blame it on bad chemistry or other such crockery.

Women are attracted to real men, not some wussboy who does what Mama said. No woman is ever attracted to a man simply because he complimented her, showed up on time to a date, or had the right music playing on his stereo. Observance of social ettiquette is only the hallmark of a man; it doesnt make the man. Women intuitively know this to be true. So should you.

So what are the traits of a real man?

Well for starters, the real man follows the rules of social etiquette, not because he wants to impress some girl he barely knows, but because their observance is a reflection of his self esteem and self respect. He shows up on time for a date, not because hes trying to get laid, married, or whatever hidden agenda you care to name, but because hes a man of integrity and he keeps his word. And he never apologizes for his taste in music nor worries that his date might dislike it. And the real reason women are suckers for a man with a plan is because such a man is in charge of his reality and he takes responsibility for his own fun. The girl he invites is simply lucky enough to be along for the ride.

Be the man a woman wants you to be not some sissy boy with Bobby Darrin on his 8-track following the no farting rule and youll get plenty of women. No need for chemistry, a shared love of Devo, or articles like this. Oh, and an extra bonus: Youll get the girl even if you like ACDC, forget to open her door or give a compliment, or violate any of these other sissy tips being touted as gospel. Even the fact that you acted on your desires as a man and accepted her proposition to come in as if this is a serious issue for most guys out here shell still respect you in the morning.

You can even send them a message on Facebook too.'

Thoughts?


« Last Edit: January 18, 2010, 11:08:33 PM by Cole Carter » Logged
'Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence'

- Vincent van Gogh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib3mrQjvN3w
Amber
Ladies
Sr. Member
*
Posts: 270


View Profile
« Reply #1 on: January 19, 2010, 12:17:31 AM »

Oh my goodness.  I was dying laughing reading this.  Seriously.  It sounds like the article in question gave a list of essentially, manners.  Honestly, there's something wrong if 'refrain from belching' is considered a necessary piece of advice to anyone over the age of, oh I don't know, 12.

It seems to me the commentor is stating that manners alone will not a booty call make.  Although, I do belive that bad manners can kill any passionate possibilities.
Logged
If good and evil are two sides of the same coin, then my coin is balanced on edge.
NoGNoG
Ladies
Hero Member
*
Posts: 2626


View Profile
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2010, 11:57:56 PM »

I, also, read the article. Enlightening, to say the least.

These standard manners might appear, at first glance, outdated.  At second glance, they could seem to be restrictive of womens liberation. 

I disagree on both glances.  These are great looks into respect for the individual and you.
(Please, dont look in my car. ;D)   Plus, quite liberating for either party.  These standards are looks at how you, yourself, would like to be treated if asked out on a date.  The etiquette listed within the article is useful no matter which sex, either Ladies and/or Gentlemen, should rise to.

In essence a date is what a Lady is doing when requesting an evening or anytime with a Male Companion (Gentleman).  A lady has picked the time, day, and activity and should inform the gentleman of what would be appropriate wear.  A lady is doing the requesting and should pick up any and all tabs.  At that point, he should not be late and adhere to the rest of the suggestions listed within the article.  Good personal hygiene is always a plus. A gift in either direction on this date should be an individual choice and should not be expected. 

Whether one is being invited in at the end or one has declined to except that invitation should not cause any angst for either party.  This is only a date.  Connection is what is important to establish intimacy.

Connection = Ability to communicate.  Intimate =  a close, familiar and personal relationship.

Thank you Cole,  /xo  for bringing it to our attention here at the CdM Forum.
Logged
"If you believe passionately in what you are doing and whom you are doing it with, success is bound to follow.
~Anisa Kamadoli Costa
lucifer
CdM Featured Companion
Hero Member
*
Posts: 1036


View Profile WWW
« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2010, 06:05:23 AM »

There're clues here.

Now, can you still get 8 track tapes? Did Bobby Darrin ever get released on 8 track?

Do 8 tracks play in 7.1 or 5.1 surround? Does Bobby Darrin?

Honestly this article has not realised that the new kids on the block are Cliff and his Shadows. And the Everly Bros. Predating even Bros.

Honestly.  :-\

Is being an ACDC fan an indication of sissy wussiness? This being the same band that are the flag bearers for all the bike gangs (at least here in the Southern Hemisphere)?

hehe

Logged
NoGNoG
Ladies
Hero Member
*
Posts: 2626


View Profile
« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2010, 11:09:01 PM »

There're clues here.  


May I please have clarification? Clues to what? Or are we playing Mr. Lucifer in the Library with a candlestick?  ???

I thought I wrote a well thought out and polite response to Mr. Carter.

Quote
Now, can you still get 8 track tapes? Did Bobby Darrin ever get released on 8 track?

Do 8 tracks play in 7.1 or 5.1 surround? Does Bobby Darrin?

Honestly this article has not realised that the new kids on the block are Cliff and his Shadows. And the Everly Bros. Predating even Bros.

Honestly.  :-\  


Honestly is correct.  We have garage sales and flea markets, you can find 8 tracks.  Whether they have sound at all is anyone's guess.  Bobby Darin had some wonderful songs, plus he was cute.  I have one of his Live CD's - you can find a lot of great singers & bands at Collectors' Choice Music -   http://www.ccmusic.com/  

This company would be for out of production cd's, collections, or other music produced in other countries.  
Available for those of us who have discerning musical taste, such that we have for our Gentlemen.  :)

Quote
Is being an ACDC fan an indication of sissy wussiness? This being the same band that are the flag bearers for all the bike gangs (at least here in the Southern Hemisphere)?

hehe

I only know that ACDC is great to have on the jukebox while doing the mambo jambo on a pool table.  I have never listened to ACDC on the back of a Harley.  ;D  Plus I do not remember seeing 8 tracks on bikes or bikers, semi's yes. 
I personally like ZZ Top or Leonard Skynard more, but hey to each his own.
« Last Edit: January 21, 2010, 11:21:11 PM by NoGNoG » Logged
"If you believe passionately in what you are doing and whom you are doing it with, success is bound to follow.
~Anisa Kamadoli Costa
visitor001
Sr. Member
****
Posts: 450

View Profile
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2010, 08:19:22 AM »

Amis,

The reason why I posted on this subject was because it reminded me of a conversation I had with a Patron in the past. I hope she doesn't mind me recalling the moment as she does frequent this forum now and again, although I feel the our conversation deserves merit.

We were taking dinner in London when the subject of male escorts came up, in particular how they projected themselves through their websites. She told me that she was disappointed reading copy that really didn't correspond to the actual person and also tired of reading through a mire of superlatives that were obviously created for effect.

Particularly she singled out the word 'Gentleman'. It was shocking to her that so many male comanions could use the term on their websites so effortlessly without thought to its connatation. She told me that in her lifetime she had only met two men who she could really call a true 'Gentleman'. I was midly startled by this revelation as here sitting in front of me was a woman of infinite wisdom and experience. A woman who meets with numerous men of all ages and from all backgrounds through her profession and heritage.

A pang of humbling self-revelation exploded, like a ballon being suddenly burst by a sharp needle, as I knew I wasn't definitely one of the two. But by God I wanted to be the third Gentleman that she had ever met, as I certainly didn't want her to remember me as a 'self-made-wannabe-cad-come-playah-playboy'.

Cole

« Last Edit: January 22, 2010, 08:26:34 AM by Cole Carter » Logged
'Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence'

- Vincent van Gogh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib3mrQjvN3w
Amber
Ladies
Sr. Member
*
Posts: 270


View Profile
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2010, 11:07:42 AM »

I would agree with your lady, Cole.  Gentleman are very, very rare.  There are numerous nice guys, decent men, and fun dates, but few that are everything and that special something more that combines to make a gentleman.

It's very hard to define the gentleman.  We just know it when we see it. 

I read somewhere that computers have the ability to read music and reproduce it perfectly, but the music they make is subtly unsatisfying.  It lacks heart and feeling.  So, even if there were a list that makes up a gentleman and even if it were memorized and followed perfectly, well there would still be something lacking.

I've only ever met one.  Your lady is lucky to have met two.
Logged
If good and evil are two sides of the same coin, then my coin is balanced on edge.
lucifer
CdM Featured Companion
Hero Member
*
Posts: 1036


View Profile WWW
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2010, 01:43:00 PM »



I read somewhere that computers have the ability to read music and reproduce it perfectly, but the music they make is subtly unsatisfying.  It lacks heart and feeling.  So, even if there were a list that makes up a gentleman and even if it were memorized and followed perfectly, well there would still be something lacking.


There is studio PC software (e.g.Pro Tools, Logic and Sibelius (not the Finnish composer but the software that produces finished scripts.) These are produced and manipulated as a result of digital input.

The heart and feeling response in music and how it's generated is always a personal thing. Very open to interpretation.

Logged
NoGNoG
Ladies
Hero Member
*
Posts: 2626


View Profile
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2010, 01:03:34 AM »

But by God I wanted to be the third Gentleman that she had ever met.
Cole

Cole - I applaud your ambition.  I have included an article found that addresses the definition of the current era Gentleman. The article brings up manners and etiquette and an attribute badly wanted by women missing romance chivalry.  

http://www.askmen.com/money/successful/41_success.html

I read through the article. My reasoning of basic manners, respect for oneself and others plays a huge part.  I think self-awareness plays a huge part on both sides of the equation, also.  If a woman acts like a lady, reacts like a lady, then it only stands to reason she should be treated as such.  Just like one who acts like a bore is boring.

Being polite and unselfish toward others is among some Lady attributes.  So wouldnt it stand to reason that a Lady begets a Gentleman and vice versa?

I would agree with your lady, Cole.  Gentlemen are very rare.  There are numerous nice guys, decent men, and fun dates, but few that are everything and that special something more that combines to make a gentleman.

It's very hard to define the gentleman.  We just know it when we see it.  

I've only ever met one.  Your lady is lucky to have met two.

Amber,

When I receive the same respect, I have given unconditionally, at time of first acquaintance, I have been made a Lady and the Gentleman has just become.  I currently know at least 8, one is my own father.  I do not pay much attention to how they are with other women.  That is their business how they are being treated.  When the Gentleman is with me, I am treated accordingly and they are too.

I agree, with your assessment, gentlemen are scarce.   Dont you think that is so because women are looking for a white knight?  Which, by the way, do not exist.

The potential for more gentlemen is within our own self-worth.
« Last Edit: January 23, 2010, 01:09:00 AM by NoGNoG » Logged
"If you believe passionately in what you are doing and whom you are doing it with, success is bound to follow.
~Anisa Kamadoli Costa
LadyLuck
Ladies
Sr. Member
*
Posts: 388

INACTIVE PROFILE...

View Profile
« Reply #9 on: January 28, 2010, 05:49:52 PM »


I agree, with your assessment, gentlemen are scarce.   Dont you think that is so because women are looking for a white knight?  Which, by the way, do not exist.

The potential for more gentlemen is within our own self-worth.

I agree. The "white knight" does not exist. No man is perfect, not even a male companion. Idealization is fatal and best avoided.


Whether one is being invited in at the end or one has declined to except that invitation should not cause any angst for either party.  This is only a date.  Connection is what is important to establish intimacy.

Connection = Ability to communicate.  Intimate =  a close, familiar and personal relationship.


Connection and communication...it's been so long since I've had that. :(
« Last Edit: January 28, 2010, 05:52:19 PM by LadyLuck » Logged
Lady Luck has left the building...
Pages: [1] Print 
« previous next »
 
SMF 2.0.11 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
Concierge Companion Forum, The Art of the Gentleman - Theme by Mustang Forums